Loss of my Mom…

Mom passed away yesterday…

I should be grieving and not putting down thoughts, but Mom always liked to know what was on my mind. I am grieving, but not in a way that I expected. Mom was 94 years old when she took her last breath yesterday morning in Little River, Kansas.  Mom held the dual role of mother and sole provider. With jobs as a restaurant hostess, party planner, and sold dresses at a little shop in Escondido, California. There were times when the child support check never arrived, and welfare would drop off a box of food, and Mom would have food stamps when we went to the market. I would often play the math game with Mom as we went through the aisles of the market. We had a certain amount of food stamp dollars that we could spend, so we bought meat for her spaghetti sauce, and that would take a bite out of the budget, but we were like kings that night. 

My mom lived for her three boys. Today, her three boys are reflecting on how much sacrifice and grit Mom gave to us. I have no idea how she paid for me to pursue basketball with tournaments, camps, shoes, etc., etc., etc. But somehow she made it happen. 

Mom had strong faith. Her love of God would be the answer to everything. When doors opened or closed, it was “God’s plan,” not mine. She hammered that into my brothers and me, and at times we didn’t listen. We had to figure out the whole “faith thing” on our own, but Mom had to stay on us about it even at the end. 

I went back to see her last month for her 94th birthday. I almost didn’t go because of work obligations. Sending her a card and a gift would be enough. However, a little voice said, “Don’t be silly; she’s 94. Go see her.” When I arrived at her facility, she was asleep and peacefully snoozing. I crawled into bed with her and dozed right off too. When we woke up, our foreheads were touching. We chuckled a bit, and then she asked for a shrimp birthday dinner. That was a big ask, considering we were 40 miles from the nearest town, but I found an Applebee’s, and Walmart had a small birthday cake and candles. My brother played the piano and sang to her.  We helped her eat the birthday cake, and that was a memory that I will never forget. 

Since getting the text yesterday morning that she had passed, I’ve appreciated the sympathy and prayers. Mom is now in a place where people don’t want to leave and will never be kicked out. There will be hard days ahead for my brothers and me, but like many of you who have experienced a significant loss, we will just keep moving forward. I won’t use sports as an escape. Even though I use the line, “welcome to the world of fun and games,” I will be more intentional about spending my time on other parts of life, not just sports. Mom would like that…